Amit Karmarkar
After the Bucknor and Company fiasco at the SCG, the BCCI springs into action. The richest cricket body in the world just can’t take this lying down and spring into action with arm-twisting tactics. In a seemingly impossible —and unthinkable — move, Team Pawar decided to take the help of former president Jagmohan Dalmiya who handled the infamous Mike Denness affair with aplomb.
A video conferencing between both leaders along with their supporters takes place. The matter is touchy: being in line for ICC presidency, Pawar can’t go for an all-out attack against the world body but at the same time, he is compelled to make noises to please the Indian masses.
Pawar: (without looking into the camera). Hello Dalmiyaji. You must be aware why I have called you. Will you help us in displaying India’s power?
Dalmiya: That’s a milliondollar question.
Manohar: Don’t worry Jaggu, we will take back allegations of money-laundering against you.
Dalmiya: Speak to the sponsors and ask them to pull out of contracts with ICC and Cricket Australia.
Shah: And what if they don’t agree?
Dalmiya: Tell them it’s either that or else your contracts with BCCI will be terminated.
Srinivasan: (Sadly) We have deposited bank guarantees this time.
Bindra: We never do such things at Mohali. The Punjab Cricket Association always take care of.....
Pawar: (interrupts with a sigh of helplessness) There are various options available to us. 1. Stop Test at that point and force ICC to change Bucknor’s decision. 2. Force ICC to sack Bucknor from immediate effect or 3. Forfeit a Test match.
Dalmiya: It would lead to technical complications. Should the ‘kirkit’ match continue from that time adjudging Symonds out or shall we deduct those many runs from Australia’s total. Meanwhile, I will file a case against Bucknor in Court of Arbitration (CAS) in Lausanne in Switzerland.
Bindra: In case Bucknor steps down on his own, who should be his replacement as reserve umpire for Sydney Test?
Pawar: (constantly remembering the compromising formula in Mumbai Cricket Association’s elections) Lalchand Rajput.
Shah: (eyes popping out) Sir, he is already assistant coach of the Indian team touring Australia!
Pawar: (fires his PA inaudibly for lack of homework. Threatens to post him to Baramati).
Dalmiya: We are missing the point (reading out a piece of paper), transgressing the topic. Our mission should end in forcing Bucknor’s resignation like I did to Denness? After all, he has brought the game into disrepute (showing handbook of ICC Code of Conduct)
Dungarpur: But that way we won’t allow him to make further mistakes to even things out. After all, cricket is a great leveller.
Shah: (in a casual-cum-boring tone) And if ICC accepts our demand, how shall we celebrate?
Modi: Send Shah Rukh Khan to Australia. Chak de India! (gets an ‘Om Shanti Om’ stare from Pawar).
Pawar: To appear as fair bosses, we must offer a compensation package to Bucknor?
Dalmiya: Why not honorary membership of Cricket Association of Bengal. Police Commissioner Prasun Mukherjee is a dear friend of mine.
Dungarpur: Gentlemen , I would offer honorary membership of CCI.
Modi: That’s old hat. Let’s appoint Bucknor as umpire for IPL.
Dalmiya: Mr. Modi, I read that you are doing frenchie and all...
Kunal: (interrupts and whispers in Dalmiya’s ear: Franchisee sir!)
Pawar: I think Bucknor should be made brand ambassador for the Commonwealth Youth Games in Pune. (Sheepishly) Our IOA friend Suresh Kalmadi would love this.
Dalmiya: As a last resort we can offer Bucknor a 2010 World Cup football final game in South Africa. Remember he has been a soccer referee too. This offer will be too tempting for him to step down from the Sydney Test. I will have a word with Das Munshi to convince Sepp Blatter. Remember when I was in BCCI, it was more powerful than FIFA.
Pawar: That’s a great idea.
Meeting ends with unanimous hugs, nay winks.
The day after: As things panned out, before these scattered proposals and talks with ICC commenced, the entire video conference was leaked out to the media. The contents were first denied vociferously with the allegation that the video footage is doctored. Next: BCCI appoints factfinding committee to probe into the leak.
Murmurs from the ‘Sportsfield’: Will the committee members get a revised DA? TV cameras are after Shashank Manohar for ‘breaking news’ quote. The president-in-waiting says: “Let’s wait! We haven’t heard a final word on this yet. In our Vidarbha Cricket Association.....”
ends ends
